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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24701521">There is Beauty in a Failure</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jule1122/pseuds/jule1122'>jule1122</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alex Manes Loves Michael Guerin, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Communication, Gregory Manes is a good brother, Happy Ending, M/M, Michael Guerin Loves Alex Manes, Planing a future together, brief mention of miluca</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:48:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,468</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24701521</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jule1122/pseuds/jule1122</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Why are you here, Greg,” Michael repeats his question from earlier because it’s clear Greg is here to see him as much as he is to see Alex.  “You’re ten years too late for a shovel talk.”</i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michael Guerin/Alex Manes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>282</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>There is Beauty in a Failure</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Post season 2, but since the finale hasn't aired yet, assume everyone gets out of CrashCon alive. </p><p>Inspired by @prouvaireafterdark's tumblr post asking for headcanons about Greg finding out about Alex and Michael.  I couldn't stop thinking about it and it fed into my new obsession with making Michael talking about his feeling for Alex.</p><p>Title from "Black Sun" by Death Cab for Cutie</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Two of whatever he’s drinking.”</p><p>Michael looks up from the beer bottle he’d been toying with.  He can’t think of anyone who would be buying him a drink without an ulterior motive.  Seeing Gregory Manes sitting next to him doesn’t make him any less suspicious.  He’d seen Greg twice in the last ten years, and neither of those had been social occasions.  Random visits from Manes other than Alex rarely end well.</p><p>“What are you doing here, Greg?”</p><p>“Same as you.”</p><p>“Awfully long way to drive for a drink.”</p><p>“Alex is singing tonight, isn’t he?”</p><p>Michael makes a noncommittal noise and looks away.  Alex has been to open mic night every week since CrashCon, but Michael’s at the Pony a lot more often than that.  The silence stretches between them, and there’s no way Michael can do this for another hour so he figures he might as well get some answers.  “Why did you do it?  Step in front of the gun?” He adds as though Greg might not know what he means.</p><p>“You did the same for Alex once.  Got between him and Dad, tried to protect him.”</p><p>“A lot of good that did,” Michael snorts.</p><p>“It’s more than I ever did,” Greg’s expression is carefully blank.  “Took the chance to return the favor.”</p><p>“How did you know about that?”</p><p>“Alex told me.”</p><p>“Alex?”  Michael shakes his head.  “Alex told you about the shed, about me?  I didn’t think he ever talked about me; I was always his big secret.”</p><p>“Alex has a lot of secrets. He learned young to hide anything that mattered to him, or Dad would destroy it.  I don’t think what happened to you did anything to change his mind.”</p><p>Michael sucks in a breath, but doesn’t say anything.  It’s not like he doesn’t know Jesse was abusive long before he met Alex, but Alex never talked about it, and Michael never wanted to think about it.</p><p>“He called me before he enlisted,” Greg continues.  “He wanted my opinion.  I told him to get away from Dad and this town any way he could. That’s when he told me he had someone here.  Someone he loved.”</p><p>Greg waits, but Michael remains silent, slowing tearing the label off his beer bottle in careful strips.</p><p>“He said you were supposed to go away together, but he’d ruined it.  That’s when he told me what Dad did to you.  He said you changed after that, and he couldn’t watch you ruin your life knowing it was his fault.”</p><p>“It wasn’t him.  Alex was the one good thing in my life.”</p><p>“I only know what he told me.  He thought leaving would be best for both of you.”</p><p>“He wanted to learn to win battles,” Michael says, sharing what Alex told him.</p><p>Greg signals for another drink.  “He didn’t tell me your name then.”</p><p>“You figure that out on your own?”  Michael can’t think of any way Greg would have made that leap.</p><p>“No,” Greg laughs.  “Alex never gave me enough information to even guess.  It wasn’t until after he was hurt.  I went to see him as soon as I could, and one of the nurses asked me if I knew who Michael was.  She said Alex was asking for him.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you call me?” Michael is holding his temper by a thread.  If Alex wanted him there, he would have found a way.  Instead, Alex was left thinking he didn’t care. He wants to break every glass in the bar, but he doesn’t.</p><p>“Alex told me not to.  He said you’d be long gone, and you didn’t deserve to have your life disrupted.”</p><p>“I would have come,” Michael leans forward into Greg’s space.</p><p>“Maybe,” Greg holds his gaze calmly until Michael backs down.  “Roswell is a small town.  Didn’t take long to find out you were still here and in no position to be of any use to Alex.”</p><p>“Hey,” Michael starts to protest.</p><p>“Alex had just lost his leg and watched most of his unit die in front of him.  He was in a bad place, and nothing like the boy you remembered.  I’ve seen good marriages end, and families destroyed after things like that happen.  I wasn’t risking Alex’s recovery on some guy who spent more nights in the drunk tank then his own bed.  And I wasn’t telling him that his leaving did nothing to help you get his life together.”</p><p>“Remind me again why you stepped between me and a loaded gun,” Michael laughs bitterly.</p><p>“We talked a lot while I was there.  Maybe it was the pain meds or maybe Alex just didn’t feel like he had a reason to hide, but it was the closest I ever got to him.  Just because I didn’t think you were good for him then, doesn’t mean it wasn’t clear that you loved each other and that you made him happy.”</p><p>Michael sighs.  He always hated hiding his relationship with Alex.  But now that he has a chance to talk about it, he doesn’t know what to say.  Using his feelings as a weapon against Jesse and Flint was one thing, but no one has ever told him that what he had with Alex was good or right.  He doesn't know what to do with that.</p><p>“We lost touch again after that.  But when I heard he was coming back to Roswell, I hoped”</p><p>“What?” Michael cuts him off.  “We’d see each other across a crowded room, fall into each other’s arms and live happily ever after?  Michael doesn’t even try to keep the disbelief out of his voice.</p><p>“Something like that,” Greg smiles, but his smile fades quickly.  “Then he told me he was bringing you to the rez, and I was really curious to see you together.  He told me you weren’t a couple, but I sure as hell wasn’t expecting to see Maria DeLuca hanging off your arm.”</p><p>“Don’t,” Michael immediately comes to Maria’s defense.  “Maria didn’t do anything wrong.  Alex and I haven’t been together in a long time.  She loves Alex; she would never do anything to hurt him.”</p><p>“Never said she did,” Greg says mildly.  “Alex made all of that very clear, and he’s never had a single bad word to say about Maria. He loves her too, but that doesn’t mean seeing the two of you together doesn’t hurt.  I know what Alex looks like when he’s bleeding on the inside.”</p><p>“Jesus,” Michael rubs his eyes.  “You don’t pull any punches, do you.”</p><p>Greg shrugs.  “Alex is the best of us.  I think Dad always saw that too.  He knew Alex couldn’t be twisted into his version of a Manes Man, so he turned on him instead.  He made Alex’s life a living hell, and I stood by and watched it happen.  Alex deserved better from me.”</p><p>“Why are you here, Greg,” Michael repeats his question from earlier because it’s clear Greg is here to see him as much as he is to see Alex.  “You’re ten years too late for a shovel talk.”</p><p>“I’m too late for a lot of things where Alex is concerned,” Greg says with regret before continuing.  “The Air Force offered Alex a transfer with a promotion.  It’s a good opportunity.”</p><p>Michael tries not to panic.  “Alex didn’t reenlist for his career.  He has things to do here.”</p><p>“Might be easier to destroy Project Sheppard where no one else is looking.”</p><p>Michael looks over at Greg sharply.  “Guess you know more about the family business than I thought you did.  So what, is this your way of telling me to let him go?”</p><p>“I don’t know, maybe.  You and Maria seemed happy at the rez. You deserve a chance to see where that goes.  And Alex deserves a chance to find happiness without the past staring him in the face.”</p><p>“But?”</p><p>“But, you built a bomb for him.  No questions, no back up plan, you built a bomb to keep him safe.  And I saw his face when you were in danger.  I don’t know what any of that means, but you both deserve a chance to find out.  Maybe this time it’s your opinion he needs before he makes a decision.”</p><p>Michael waves the bartender over.  “Another one for my friend here.  Nice seeing you, Greg.  Never thought I’d say that to one of Alex’s brothers.”  He pushes his hat back and stands up.</p><p>“You’re not staying for the show?” Greg nods toward the stage.</p><p>“Not tonight, but you enjoy.  Alex always kills it,” he turns and leaves before Greg can respond.</p><p> </p><p>Michael spends a restless night trying to process what Greg told him.  He goes to Maria the next morning.  It’s both easier and harder than he expects to end their relationship.  Harder because he really likes the person he is with her, and she brings so much light into his life.  It’s easier, though, because they both know it’s been slowly ending since CrashCon.  In the aftermath, it’s become clear that they have priorities that will always outrank each other, and they are more invested in their friendship than their romantic relationship.  He’s more relieved than he can say that he won’t lose Maria as a friend.  </p><p>It takes him another two weeks to figure out what he wants to say to Alex.  He forgets half of it when Alex opens the door.  He’s wearing a faded T-shirt from some band Michael’s never heard of and sweatpants knotted where his prosthetic usually is.  He must have just showered because his hair is still damp, and Michael swears he can smell his shampoo.  He wants to pull him into his arms and never let go.</p><p>“Everything ok, Guerin,” Alex asks when he just stands there, staring at him.</p><p>“Yeah, you got a minute?”</p><p>“Sure,” Alex waves him in.  “You want a beer?”</p><p>“I’ll get it,”  Michael heads to the kitchen and grabs a few beers.  When he comes into the living room, he sits next to Alex on the couch ignoring the raised brow Alex gives him for bypassing the chair.</p><p>“So.” Now that he's here, Michael doesn’t know where to start.  “Greg came to hear you sing.”</p><p>“Yeah, but how did you know that?  You weren’t there,” Alex looks puzzled.  “You haven’t been there the last few weeks.”</p><p>“You noticed,” Michael smiles, pleased despite the unimpressed look Alex gives him.  “Just giving Maria some space.  She tell you we broke up?”</p><p>Alex nods, “Are you ok?”</p><p>“I’m good, we’re <i>both</i> good.  Still friends which is what matters.  But Maria has her eye on someone new so I’m trying not to cramp her style.”</p><p>Alex rolls his eyes, “I think we’re past the point where either of them would even notice you were there.”</p><p>“Good to know,” Michael laughs.  “I guess I’ll be back for open mic night.  At least as long as you’ll be there.”</p><p>“Why wouldn’t I be?”</p><p>Michael knows this is his chance.  “Greg told me about the transfer.”</p><p>“Michael,” Alex looks away.  “I haven’t”</p><p>“I know you haven’t given them an answer yet,” Michael interrupts.  “I need you to know something before you decide.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Ask me again,” Michael knows he doesn’t need to be more specific.  Alex understands.</p><p>“You said no.”</p><p>“That’s why you need to ask me again.”</p><p>Alex closes his eyes, and Michael can see this is hurting him.  He hates it, but he also knows it’s the only way Alex will believe him so he waits.</p><p>“If I leave Roswell, will you come with me?”  Alex opens his eyes again, and Michael aches at the pain he sees there.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Just like that?” Alex asks in disbelief.  “You’ll leave Max and Isobel, your job, your <i>life</i> to come with me?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because I love you.  I know we’ve both been afraid to say it, but I still love you Alex.  And I know you love me too,” he takes Alex's hand because he can’t not touch him any longer.  “I don’t want to lose you again.”</p><p>“And in two months, when we’re halfway across the country going to work and paying bills and doing laundry, are you still going to want me?”</p><p>“Hell yes.  Alex that’s all I want, to make you dinner and fall asleep watching Netflix with you.  Maybe get a dog.”</p><p>“It can’t be that easy.”</p><p>“It is that easy.  That’s where we fucked up.  We got so caught up in the drama and the big gestures you know.  Alien conspiracies, dramatic confessions with alarms blaring, alien ships, you reenlisting, all our families tangled up history, the bomb.  We forgot what it was like to just be together, how we felt playing music for each other, making out in the back of my truck, even those couple of days in the airstream.  We are good together Alex; we make each other happy.  The rest of it isn’t us.  Odds are some one will be pointing a gun at us next week or we’ll find out some new horrifying secret from the past, but we can’t let that matter more than how we feel about each other.”</p><p>“And what if I decide to stay here?”</p><p>“Pretty sure they have dogs and Netflix in Roswell,” Michael teases now that he can see Alex is starting to believe him.  “I’ll be in the front row of every open mic night bragging about my hot, talented boyfriend.  And we’ll have dinner at the Crashdown and piss everybody off with how happy we are.  I don’t care about the where, Alex, I just want to be with you.”</p><p>“I do love you,” Alex says, eyes shining with tears.</p><p>“I know, that’s why I built you a bomb.”</p><p>“Next time try flowers,” Alex laughs.</p><p>“So we’re doing this?”  Michael wants to be sure.</p><p>Alex’s smile is all the answer he needs, but he still lets out a relieved breath when Alex says, “Yes.”</p><p>“Can I kiss you now?”  Michael inches closer to Alex in anticipation.</p><p>“Please,” Alex sounds as eager as he feels.</p><p>Alex is the one to lean forward and bring their lips together.  Michael moans into the kiss, opening his mouth and sucking on Alex’s bottom lip.  Alex’s hands are in his hair, and Michael can’t get close enough.  He lays back on the couch, pulling Alex with him, his weight a reminder that this is real.  He gentles the kiss, stroking his hands down Alex’s back.  He doesn’t want to rush now, not when they finally have time.</p><p>Minutes or hours later, he holds Alex in his arms, tracing random patterns on his skin as they both start to fall asleep.  </p><p>“Tell me about our dog,” Alex mumbles into his chest.</p><p>Michael tightens his arms around Alex and kisses the top of his head.  “I heard you like beagles.”</p>
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